Where is my phone???

It has to be in the house.
But where?
And why is it ringing out as engaged when I call it from the home phone as I attempt to locate it from it's ring?

I am pulling my hair out in despair,as I can't find my mobile phone. I emailed DH this morning who confirmed I sms'd him last night - and I haven't been out of the house since.

It's worrying that it rings as "engaged" when I try to call it. I would have thought even if it has done it's usual trick of switching itself off, it would divert calls to voicemail. I've searched through this messy house from top to bottom, and am now worrying that MrM's latest trick of packing things away may have gone one step too far. Hopefully not as far as the garbage bin...

It is frustrating because I NEED my phone right now. We only have a few more weeks before we move, and I have so much stuff going on and have given that number to so many people...
Just this morning, we sent out Ms A's birthday invitations using my number as the contact/rsvp number. She won't be happy.

Thanks kids!

I don't know what I did to deserve it, but my kids made me breakfast this morning. I thought DH must have had a hand in it, as after he called last night MrT came and told me I could sleep in and he would make me breakfast. Ms A then got all involved and wanted to create a menu etc and took away some of the glory from MrT.

In the end I told them my preferences for breakfast (and the fact that I didn't want it in bed!) and we came up with contingencies for if MrM woke up early and I was still sleeping in. It was lovely. Cornflakes and fruit never tasted so good!

First steps ... at long last

Mr M is walking. Yay!! It seems like it has taken him forever to get from the cruising furniture, lurching between objects stage, but as of Thursday he is now walking the length of the room unassisted. He of course thinks it is a big joke, and loves the reaction we all give him when he takes a long walk. He still prefers to crawl, as it so much faster and I guess feels more secure for him. I can't remember how long it takes before walking (and running - gasp!) becomes number one after those tentative first steps.

I am so relived it happened before the weekend, so DH could see it. We packed him up and sent him off to Sydney last night to start his new job. He is also tasked with the jobs of finding us a house and school while I stay back here and try to sort and purge our belongings before they get crammed into a shipping container in 7wks. Please Lord, Grant me the patience to get through these next weeks alone with the kids without (wishing) Killing them!!

Hot Water

Oh, how I appreciate hot water!!!

We finally had the switch for our hot water system repaired last night. After 3 days of cold showers, it was long overdue. To celebrate the kids had a big, foamy bubblebath.

I got up extra early this morning for a nice long shower.

There are many things I will miss about Singapore. The lack of available hot water on call is not one of them!

It's March!!!

What a whirlwind the last few months have been.

Key events:
* US Trip and CHA
* MrM's first birthday
* MrT's 6th B'day and first "real" party
* Ongoing planning re "the move"

We had an amazing 3 wks in California. 2 weeks play, 1 week work. I can moan about how much it cost, but in reality I'm glad we did it, as it will probably be our last family holiday for quite some time. It's disappointing that we didn't make it to Disneyland - especially as we were staying less than 1/2 a mile from the park - but I commend DH for sticking to his guns, saying that we had been to Tokyo Disney, and there is so much more to do in SoCal.

We started in San Francisco, which was lovely (and cold and rainy), however our stay was marred by food poisoning. I succombed first, then MrT, then MsA, finally D. Poor MrT had it bad and was sick all over MsA in bed, and was sick in the car all the next day (thankfully we had vomit bags!!).

We took a very bizarre route leaving SF: north to Muir Woods, then back across the city to Yosemite, then back to San Jose before heading down Highway 1. We stayed in a lovely Queen Anne style B&B at a tiny town called Groveland, outside Yosemite park. We didn't get far into the park cos there was so much snow. We stopped and had snowplay for about 1/2 hr (with Mr M sleeping away in the car) before heading back. I would LOVE to go back there in the Spring/Summer to see the real landscape and go hiking.

The coast road was stunning. I wasn't sure about the merits of taking the "1" all the way - but I'm glad we did. In addition to the natural beauty of the coastline, the other big wonder we saw was Hearst Castle. I thought the kids might have been bored here, but they loved it too. What a decadent time, and what a decadent man!

We drove straight through LA (on a Saturday evening - not the BEST time to do it), to Carlsbad. The Pinnacle of the trip for the kids followed: LEGOLAND!!! It was fun, and I loved seeing the pure JOY on MrT's face. He isn't really a child who has great passions, and because he is my "quiet child" he does seem to get dragged along to places that he may not be interested in - but at least I know he won't complain (unlike MsA!). He was in HEAVEN at Legoland! In the end, that was the only theme park we went to this trip (plans to do more in San Diego were hampered by bad weather), but I am sure he will remember it for a long time :)

There ended the leisure aspect of the trip. We had to drive back up to Anaheim for the work to start at CHA. I'll post about that another time ...this was such a long one!!

Did I miss Christmas??

As you can no doubt imagine, I've been a bit preoccupied lately.

I've been stressing about the move - however must say I am now a lot happier about it; stressing about telling the kids; stressing about CHA; ... in general, just stressing!!

My body was starting to protest and I succumbed to a cold that had been hanging around home. I'm not sure why/how things started to improve, but they did. I think it just helps some time to surrender to the reality of a situation, admit there is no point holding on to the past or future dreams, and pray for strength and guidance to get through it!

So Christmas came and went with little fanfare this year. Christmas eve was nice, as we went to church and I made sausage rolls from scratch. I don't know what it is with sausage rolls - it's definately not a traditional Christmas food, but it has always been a tradition in my (parents) family. It felt good to make something that made me feel closer to "home".

Oh, on the "homefront" we told our families about our impending move. My dad ended up sobbing uncontrollably on the phone. I had to ring back a little later to make sure he was able to tell mum the news.

We told the kids on boxing day. MrT was fine. He just wanted to know if he could play footy at his new school. MsA, as expected, didn't take the news quite so well. All was OK though when she found out that we might be able to get a dog in our new home.

Giftwise, we were more conservative this year, as we knew we would spend big on our holiday. I probably received the most!! A new digicam for use on our US trip and $USD for personal spending (ie not for the kids or for work). WooHoo!

always the same: always changing!

How many times have I started a post with a comment along the lines of "how quickly things change"?

Yep, you guessed it. Major changes afoot. I think I just need to accept that the world keeps turning, presenting new situations all the time. There is no such thing as "being still".

Our news: we are moving back to Australia.
Let's just say that I was unprepared for this situation. I have finally (after 5 solid days) stopped crying.

The whole situation firmly put me back in the traditional expat family role of "trailing spouse". For the first few days I was constantly defiant and opposed every issue related to repatriating. All I could think of was that DH was thinking only of himself, he hadn't considered how it would impact the family. I saw nothing positive in making the move in the timeframe and conditions that work demanded.

Today I seemed to have turned a corner. I'm able to see positive aspects. I'm not as terrified as I was about how hard this will be for the kids. We have decided we will tell the kids at Christmas. It's going to be hard, as we don't have a definite schedule yet, and that will worry MsA. I've already broached the subject with MrT and he was fine.

I think I'm the one who is making a big deal out of it, and will have the toughest time!

It's a rainy, grey day. Yay!

Today the weather is dismal. It's been overcast and grey all day. I don't like having the lights on during the day (a frugal/penny-pinching quirk of mine), but today it has been necessary.
The rain didn't start until about 10am, and it seems to have set in. It looks like I won't get to the library to return our books after all (oh no, a fine! the penny pincher in me is really getting a workout today!).

I'm so loving the bad weather though. It's the kind of day that you just want to snuggle up in bed with a hot chocolate and read a trashy novel. We don't get days like this in Singapore. When it rains it is usually a tropical downpour. It clears quickly, the sun comes out, the humidity rises, and that's that. Today it is like early winter gentle showers in southern Australia.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want it to stay like this for a week or more (as has happened the last few years we have gone back to Oz for long school break). Just for now it is perfect. It was cool enough to indulge in a hot chocolate. I've had such a draining few weeks that this weather suits my mood perfectly ... and as strange as it sounds, seeing the mood/weather match is actually making me feel more positive and energetic. I'm ready to take on the world again!

soooo tired

I'm tired. I'm doing the single parent thing again as DH is off on yet another work trip. They seem to be more frequent and for longer periods than previously. While it's frustrating that he does the disappearing act so often it doesn't get annoying until the trip extends beyond 1 week.

I think I've worked it out now:

* overnight trips - no impact. No different to working late, band practice/gig etc

* 2-4 nights - laid back, treat the kids to junk food, make no plans

* 5-9 nights - fall behind in housework. Start to feel tired.

* 10 nights - resentment sets in. How dare he leave me to look after everything? Didn't have kids to be single parent etc. Start to yell at kids.

* 11-13 nights - Body starts to show signs of stress, get sick etc

* 14+ nights - autopilot. Somehow things get done. Not entirely sure of passing of time. Occasional "second winds" only to crash and burn quickly.


Thankfully we have only had a couple of 2+wks trips. Usually I've had plenty of warning of them and can try and conserve energy to get through it. The last couple of trips though have been extended while he has been away. That's hard to deal with.

This trip has been 13 nights. He comes home tomorrow night. Yay! As if on cue I can feel that I'm succombing to some bug. Yesterday and today I have been absolutley dead on my feet, sore throat, all achy etc. Time to OD on vitamins! Time to sleep!!

Positive

How quick moods can change.

Gotta love DH.

I spoke with him this afternoon about my concerns regarding the biz, budget blowout etc.

Talk about a pep talk!

He really lifted me up and affirmed what I was doing which made me feel great.

Negative

Negative bank balance, negative physical space, negative head space.

Get the idea?

Just finished a FFC meeting where we nutted out our budget for CHA ... scary. Budget has pretty much doubled what we initially thought it would be. All those incidentals like electricity, floor coverings etc that you (or at least I) would think would be included in the cost of a booth at a large convention hall add up. I'm not sure how I will explain this to DH as I beg and grovel for more money to finance this whole exploit. I'm feeling the pressure to return to "real work" ie one that has regular income so as to fund this biz. I don't want to do that, but I know our family budget is facing a squeeze as it is. I don't want to bail from FFC either, so I'm not sure what to do ... maybe I can become minority partner instead of equal partner ... I think it's that or I'll have to seriously consider terminating our arrangement all together.

The squeeze is on in terms of floorspace at home too. DH started "cleaning up" which involved taking things out of the wardrobe and piling them in the storeroom. That would not normally be a bad thing except that the storeroom will any day become home to a pallet load of cardstock. We had talked about finding warehouse space but decided against it as it would be yet another "regular outgoing" without having seen ANY incoming, regular or not!

All this is putting me in a pretty black mood. I had been very excited as we had finally decided to make CHA into a family trip, but now I don't know if we can afford it. The alternative would be to fly either one of our parents over to babysit while Dean works. Oh, and of course our lease expires at that time too, and with the market the way it is we expect a HEFTY increase.

Sigh.

Right brain - Left brain

Clockwise or anti clockwise? Creative or logical?
For explanation see this article

Hmmm ... graphic seems to have uploaded with a fault. Hope you can see the effect.

Learning as I go ...

It was 8mths ago that Kristy asked me to join her at Far Flung Craft

I guess she wisely caught me at a weak moment, only hours after the birth of MrM. Perhaps the endorphins were still surging, so that I accepted her business proposal without proper consideration :) However that being said, we took a long time to get things going, and joining her in the biz didn't seem a big deal, particually I think because I didn't have a real sense of the what lay ahead fo us. FFC was Kristy's baby and she has had dreams for its expansion for years, I just felt like I was on for the ride!

That was until money had been invested and deadlines started approaching. I'm paying attention on this ride now - and even offering my own navigation tips. For the longest time I felt very much the backseat passenger, because I had no idea what the vision for the company was, or have any ideas how to take steps to achieve it. I'm edging closer to the front seat now.

I have learnt so much, and learn with each task I do. I had absolutely no business experience, no retail or sales experience, no industry experience. Makes you wonder why she asked me to join her!

I am finding my way around Photoshop, and am becoming frustrated that I don't have the technical skills to do the fine adjustments that I want (however also happy that I'm in this situation as it means I am coming up with clear creative designs - my muse is back!) I am thinking about things like budget, advertising, marketing, customer relations, packaging, shipping, pricing, product development ...all for the first time in my life.
It's overwhelming at times, and I know I'm not going to become a millionaire from this. I don't even know how long this partnership will last (who knows when/where one of us might move on). However long this journey lasts, and however many ups and downs we encounter, I'm glad that I'm along for the ride.


I have no idea where the "ride" analogy came from, but I thought I should stick with it all the way through!

A rolling stone

...gathers no moss.

Things have been BUSY!
September has come and gone (phew, my birthday glossed over. Too much other stuff happening to worry about that!)

On the home front, it took DH MUCH longer than anticipated to get his new passport which caused a few issues for him at work. Once it finally arrived he was out of the country straight away, and after extending his trip he is now on his way home. Yay! I've been going stir crazy as the kids have been home on holidays and have taken great joy in pushing mummy's buttons and trying to kill each other.

The big kids have completed the first term at school and we have had teacher meetings with each. Same old story for MsA: attention, task completion, immaturity. MrT had an excellent meeting. No areas of concern, and in fact exceeding expecations in a number of areas.

Baby M is now 8mths old. He still doesn't have any teeth, much to my surprise. It seems like he has been teething forever. You can see the tooth buds and he chews like crazy, but still not out yet. He is crawling though - and getting into so much mischief. He loves all DH's electrical gear ... cables are so much fun to play with. There will be some major "babyproofing" going on when DH gets home.

On the work front .... BUSY ....learning so much. will post later with details.

What's this?

It's DH's passport - after a trip to .... the washing machine!

Poor man. He has had a rough week. The much awaited work retreat was a total disaster for him, with him being recalled to Singapore after the first night to fix up stuff in the Singapore office. He may as well have been in Vietnam for all we saw of him the next few days.

Anyway, sleep deprivation does funny things to you. Apparently it causes you to find and use obscure pockets in your clothes, and not empty your pockets when you finally get to throw them in the washer.

The cost of this oversight? $350, plus no travel for at least two weeks. Somehow I don't think that will mean we will see more of DH at home though ... he will be practically living at the office 24-7 until this gets sorted out.

Ramping It Up!!

Let's get busy!
Heaps of things happening and doing my best to keep up with it all.

Firstly, kids are back at school, which should theoretically free up some time, but it hasn't. MrM is missing not having the kids around and we are struggling with naps and general routine. Hopefully that won't take long to sort itself it.

I hope so anyway, as I will need time to do normal household stuff as our live in maid will be leaving us in a couple of weeks to get married. I'm sure I'll groan about doing the work, but I am looking forward to doing it "my way".

Kristy and I are working hard on FFC stuff. Two meetings this week, probably the same next week. We have gotten past the "pie in the sky" dreaming and are really getting stuff done as deadlines approach.

I've also decided that if I want to be productive with my crafting I have to maintain a regular habit. It surprised me that while I've been getting lots of ideas for projects I haven't been able to complete them. This has mainly been due to lack of skill. Things I used to know how to do I have forgotten, or techniques that I could master on first attempt just aren't working any more.

Once things are settled into as much of a predictable routine as possible I am going to try and establish a daily (only 15min) crafting time. I used to think that such a small time wasn't worth it, as I would be unlikely to finish a project in that time. Now I realise I need to create a habit - not worry about outcome.

Peeved

What a few weeks it has been. Got back from Oz, and pretty much straight after packed the kids up to defrost on the beach in Phuket. It wasn't quite the relax and recharge long weekend we were hoping for. MrM didn't adjust to the heat and humidity well and was grumpy beyond belief. Add to that an annoying rash which first appeared the morning we left (and has made several reappearances since - Dr seems unconcerned: "insect bite reactions") and a cold thanks to artic a/c in the hotel, and MrM was only ready to enjoy our trip on the day we left.
*He was introduced to both the sand (loved it) and waves (hated it) at the beach, and the kiddy pool (LOVED IT!!!)

Anyway, the big kids are back at school this week. Hoping that means I get back to "normal" routine soon. Hmmm .... not that we had a routine .... but I will soon have to, as our live in helper is leaving us in a couple of weeks. She is off to Italy to help her sister who is due to give birth to her 2nd set of twins. She is going back to The Philippines first and might be getting married ... IF her fiancee can get time off work (from UK).

I surprised myself by having a crafty weekend. Lots of great ideas and enthusiasm to make a last ditch effort to make something that might be included in Kristy's book. Alas, dissapointment quickly set in. I have realised that regular crafting time is necessary to hone techniques. My attempt at image transfer was a dismal failure and brought a quick halt to proceedings. Evidently I don't handle failure well! It didn't work the first time, so I wasn't prepared to persevere. Hmmm, might need to work on that ... not a trait I want to pass onto the kids!

I'm baack!!

Yay! How nice it was to sleep in my own bed last night. 5 1/2 wks is a long time to be away from home. I didn't miss the computer at all. Shock, horror. The kids on the other hand couldn't wait to turn it on this morning.

Nothing major to report on my time in Oz. It is important to me to spend time with my parents ... especially as more health concerns develop with each passing year. Goodbyes are always hard.

Didn't get any crafting done - not that I honestly thought I would. I was happy to make it up to a stamp/scrap store a couple of hours away where I was able to pick up some yummy Tim Holtz and Paper Artsy images. Hope it won't take too long to get them inky.

Things are happening over at Far Flung Craft. Can't wait to catch up with Kristy and find up where we stand. I think a print run is not far off - so maybe a trip to Taiwan. I feel bad that Kristy has been left to do all the FFC stuff herself while she has been busy with her *real* job and deadlines for her book (this woman just does it all!). I'll be trying to pull my weight from now on!!

Take a deep breath, you will survive

... I said to myself as I realised the repercussions of my brash decision not to bring the laptop on our trip to Australia.

The kids have been fighting over the computer lately, and seem unable to come up with ideas of what to do if not on the computer. My fears have been confirmed - my kids are addicted to the computer. I have been scolding DH for allowing the kids so much time on the computer when I have been away, and even allowing them to each use a computer at the same time (rather than share time or take turns on mine).

I had planned on taking the laptop, and was happy to go without interent access. I was going to use the time constructively to develop my Photoshop skills, organise the millions of photos we have filed badly on the harddrive, and play around with my potential business stationery (but more on that later - DH surprises me again!).

Now I've decided to go cold turkey and we will all break ties from the computer. I said I was doing it for the kids sake -to give them the opportunity to rediscover imaginery play and old fashioned games - but I now realise I have as much of a habit to break too.

Wish me luck!

Gracious, giving children

I am in humble awe of my children.
We live in a commercial society, where advertising and peer pressure can create kids (and adults) who want - and get- the latest gadget/accessory/toy/clothes/anything.

As parents, we have tried not to give in to this hype, and have endeavoured to raise our kids knowing that "things" are not the most important things in life. We have been blessed with a relatively high disposable income, and at times it is a struggle to keep purchases in check, however generally speaking we are happy that our kids are not the kind that ask for everything. The tantrum and whining voice in the middle of the toy store is never anything we have had to deal with.

Today my kids willingly went through their bookcase, cupboards, and toybox in search of items that they could donate to a charity clearance sale our neighbours are hosting. Proceeds will go to oxfam.

My kids have pulled together 6 large bags to donate. I initially sat with them and explained what donating would mean, but everything that went in the bags went in by their own hand.