Life is such a balancing act.
I try not to beat myself up too much, but it's frustrating that I never seem to achieve the goals that I set myself.
I don't think it's that I aim my goals too high - I mean it's not like having an empty kitchen sink is unachievable!
I know I do distract myself with things like computer time and TV. I'm trying to think of it than rather than being rigid and task focussed I am flexible and responsive to changing family needs. As someone who used to be a total perfectionist and master of multi-tasking, a little voice of the me I used to be screams out "you're just avoiding things ... making excuses ... lazy"
It seems the more rundown I become, the louder that voice is, and the harder it is to ignore.
Well, it may be that using the "I'm too tired" excuse is not a cop out after all. For once in my life I actually went to the doctor for a physical. Like most mothers, I always put myself at the bottom of the list for things like that. I didn't expect anything to come of it, as I was feeling my normal, tired self. It turns out that I have low iron stores, even though my heamoglobin is OK. When the doctor explained the significance of the results, it made perefect sense. She described it as "running on empty" ... having enough energy to get through the day - just! It's all an effort!
As we are pretty confident that my dietary intake of iron is sufficient, tests are continuing and hopefully we will have some answers in 3 months.