Surreal birthday experience

Yesterday was my bday. Total non event (not that I minded!). Came home tired after work. DH brought home KFC as "special" bday dinner(??) and yummy cake. Sang "happy birthday" when the candles were lit ....all very nice .... then .... my 3yo and 6yo sang happy birthday to me in mandarin. Where did that come from??????
Definately not something I would have anticipated.

May I give you my card?

Never thought it would happen ... have had name cards made up. Wonder how long it will take me to get through the box??? I guess if I don't end up using them for work I can always stamp the reverse side as an ATC when going to stamp conventions!

Blinkers on

I was happy today to be able to go into school this morning to fill in for one of the "reading mums". (One of the downsides of work! Can't make it to all the school stuff)

I had hoped that MsA would be performing well with reading, coming from an English speaking family, and having me help her at home. Unfortunately she isn't going as great as I had hoped ... but more worrying is her classroom behaviour. She isn't getting anything done, and is distracting everyone. I'll have to follow up more closely with her teacher, but I am suspecting mild SI issues and am kicking myself for not picking it up earlier. It's my job, for goodness sake!

I guess it is one of those things - you don't see what is under your nose. Or maybe its that you (I) don't want to believe it could affect my own child.

Working girl

I started work last week. Yay! I had all but given up, and all but convinced DH to try for a baby instead, LOL!

Last week I worked 3 afternoons at the clinic providing coverage for the boss while she was on leave. I never expected to like clinic work so much. The kids were great. Although the visiting boy from Burma was interesting - had to use his mum as an interpreter, and her english wasn't great either!...ohhh, and he pee'd all over the therapy equipment! Maybe suggesting toilet training for this 3 1/2 y.o. wasn't such a great idea.

Anyways..... TODAY I had my first day at Genesis. A big surprise - they do want me to work 2 days/wk after all. It was a lot of fun... although a bite on my thigh from one of the kids was not quite the welcome I had hoped for!

I have lots of prep work (unpaid!) to do at home, but I don't mind. It's just great to be a working girl again.

(Yeah, I know .... next week I'll probably be moaning about it!!)

Life is so much easier...

... thanks to improving technology. Yeah right! That's what my DH tries to tell me and is the reason I have been "intermittently internet-less" for the last few weeks. Probably a good idea in retrospect cos I would have no doubt filled the blog with my dramas and tales of woe! (Yes, I did cycle again into a "bleak" period - what to blame it on ... PMS, work, DH ... take your pick, lol!)

DH convinced me that it was necessary to upgrade our already superfast broadband connection, justifying it as "testing the technology" for a product they were about to introduce at work. The only reason I said yes was because the cost will be subsidised by work (and not much is these days, so better take advantage!).

Nothing but trouble since the upgrade though. Had to change wireless router and now my laptop can't recognise it. DH was unable to guide me through manual connection, so I was left with occasional access to DH's PC. Have to wonder why I have a laptop - it's not working out to be so portable!

Moody mama!

LOL! saw this floating around ...


My husband was unhappy with my mood swings.
He bought me a mood ring the other day,
in an attempt to monitor my ?moods.
We've discovered that
when I'm in a good mood,
it turns a beautiful blue-green. ?
When I'm in a bad mood,
It leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

I want to talk!!!!

Hmmm/Grrr/Sigh!!

Sunday nights are our go across the road to the hawker centre for cheap eats night. I've been moping around all day (still!) and DH asked what I wanted for dinner. I said I wanted something really light, like sushi, but there is no where close by to get it. I went to check the fridge for an alternative and mentioned I felt like a beer (v unusual for me). DH commented on it it being "one of those days" and I replied saying "yep, I'm sick of not knowing what I want to be doing in my life at the moment - or what I CAN do". Suprisingly, DH said nothing other than he was going to get dinner ... I thought it was the perfect opportunity to start a discussion.

So still DH does not know/will not hear my concerns re our savings/finances, my desire for another baby, and how these impact on us staying in singapore or returning to our home country. Is it disinterest/fear/or plain ignorance?? Just as I am frustrated about my lack of control over my work situation, I am frustrated about this ongoing poor communication and it is wearing me down.

Apathy

It has been a week since MIL left and I have been able to "reclaim" my home. You would think that I would be running around happily rediscovering my space ... but alas, a major energy drain sees me doing nothing but getting the kids off to school and spending the day moping around. Yes, having MIL on her mad shopping spree tired me out, but I think this is one of my cyclical apathetic moods .... no energy, no motivation, feeling stressed and depressed re finances/work/family. How long with this last??

The decadent chocolate fountain

Yum!!! Went out to dinner last night with MIL and some of my stamping friends. It was the first time I had been to one of the dinner buffets at the big hotels - shameful, I know!

I'm not sure what was the highlight ... the tons of fresh seafood, the dumpling man, the yummy curries. Who am I kidding??? The highlight was definately the dessert bar, and while the DIY ice kachang was cool, and the cakes and kueh yummy, the supreme dessert was the chocolate fountain.

I watched for a while to see how others were making the most of the choc, fruit, and ice cream. I opted for the freshly made waffle cone, stuffed with choc coated fruit (done fondu style under the fountain), drizzled in raspberry puree, with vanilla ice cream on the side.

It was soooo good I had to have seconds, just to make sure it was not a fluke that dessert could be so yummy!

My baby is a big boy

MrT has been nagging me to find him a "school" for ages. We finally decided on small kindergarten within walking distance from home and went in today to register with the view of him starting next week. MrT tried on the new uniform and refused to take it off, saying he was staying at school .... guess what .... he did!!!!

He was SOOOOO excited and told everyone who walked past that he was starting school. He didn't follow the teacher to the classroom - he RAN infront! He told me "go home now mummy, I'm staying at school now and the teacher can look after me".

I guess I should be proud that he is so confident and excited about school. I am ... but mainly sad that my little boy is now big!

When we picked him up after school all the way home he talked nonstop about how much he liked his new school and new uniform. It was such an effort to get him to change his clothes - and he insisted on undressing himself. 15min long minutes later he had undone shirt buttons for the first time in his life. Such a change ... I have been frustrated by how dependant he has become on Liza to do basic things ... but now he wants to do it all himself, because that is what big kids do!

The lure of shopping

I am tired! My MIL is visiting (her first O/S trip) and from the moment she set foot in this country all she has wanted to do is shop!
She has absolutely no interest in sightseeing or indulging in local customs - although I guess shopping is a local custom!
It's going to be a long two weeks ...

Sigh!

I just showed DH the art journal I have started as part of the "40 days of purpose" and discussed the possibility of him joining me in reading the book. His reaction was dismissive ... of my art journal and the prospect of spending time together on the book.

I know we have grown apart over the years, and we have discussed that we need to spend quality time together to get to know each other again and work on our relationship. This feels like a slap in the face to me. What is most disappointing is that what most attracted me to my DH was his faith, and this seems to be no longer even on the radar for him. (I'm not perfect either I hasten to add, as my own Christian faith has ebbed and flowed too)

The longest 40 days!

I've had Rick Warren's book for months and have finally decided to take the 40 day challenge. I had been waiting until my DH was in the country for 40 consecutive days so we could do it together, but alas with his schedule it looks like that will never occur! The challenge recommends journalling your thoughts in response to the daily stimulus readings. I have taken this one step further and am creating an art journal. It seemed the perfect opportunity to set some regular creative time aside and to form an art "habit".

Despite all the reationale the bookgives about why "40 days" is important I have seen from the outset that this project is going to take much longer to complete. I take one day with the reading and thinking about my reactions to it, then another day to actually create the journal page (especially if I do background techniques and need to wait for it to dry before I journal over it).

Only 2 days (4 days) into it and I've been put on hold. My art space (aka study aka music room aka guest room) is about to be taken over by the visiting MIL for the next 2 wks.

I'll be lucky to finish this 40 day project by the end of the year at this rate!!

A curious incident ... at MOM

I finished reading A curious incident last week. It raised mixed feelings as I am supposed to start working at a special ed school with kids with similar diagnoses/issues at the start of August. I was actually supposed to start in May(?memory is fading it was *so* long ago), however have been awaiting the Government to approve my work permit. I have never heard of someone already in Singapore on a Dependent Pass having difficulty getting the "endorsement" (Letter of Consent) to work. My profession is even listed on the foreign talent wanted (or whatever they call it) list. The MOM (Ministry of Manpower) website says the process takes 2 wks. It took 3 mths til I finally found out that the LOC was rejected. No reason given. Since then, my employer and I have lodged an appeal using an employment agent (who reputedly has great success) and I had hoped to hear the outcome this week. Frustrating!!!! I really want to get back to work (even though I know the position will be very challenging), but it is out of my hands for now.

Pretentious??? No the wisdom of a Chinese Proverb

I've been thinking a lot about that last post I made last week where I boldly made the statement "I am an artist". I had been contemplating deleting the statement as it sounded grandious and pretentious and totally NOT me. Then I realised I needed to be true myself and be positive. So what that my creative endeavours are infrequent. Quantity has nothing to do with quality.

Time for some self actualisation. "Say it, live it, believe it, become it" etc.

It also made me reflect on an ancient chinese proverb that I had carved into stone chops. It reads:

Art is long. Life is short.

and so endth the lesson.

So what is it all about??

Good question!
Why did I decide to join the masses and start a blog and what on earth does triumph-art refer to?

At this stage, this will be my personal journal. I won't be madly rushing around promoting this site to everyone (anyone!) I know. I don't care if anybody reads it. It will be for me.

It will be a place to vent, to wonder, to cry, to question, to marvel etc about the things that are happening in my life.

It will be a place where I hope positive energies are restored.

Think positive, be positive.

• Just as I've followed the masses in the trend of starting a weblog, I'm realising that (like so many others) I've been living without purpose and intent to my actions for a long time. It's time for me to find out who I am, what I'm passionate about, and to be happy.
  
  
  This I know already:
  
  
• I am passionate about seeing beauty in the world around me.
• I am a paper artist. (Wow! That's the first time I've used that title to describe what I had previously referred to as a "hobby" or "craft").
• I love being a mother.
• I am the owner of a 1975 Triumph Stag, Mark II. Now that is art!!!! Unfortunately my car is in a different country to where I currently live, and it has not been driven for a number of years. But it is still ART! (and it is a beautiful beast when it is on the road *grin*).

Now, if only the rest of my life was so clearly defined.
And so begins the journey of self discovery .....

Lists, lists, lists

What do you know .... for once I did it!!!!

I wrote a "to do" list, and actually *did* what was on the list.
I took great satisfaction in crossing off all the items. It's strange how something as accomplishing something as simple as this can make you feel better.

Despite being a "perfectionist" I am also a chronic procrastinator.
The two character traits don't mesh well together!

For now, I will celebrate that I achieved this minor goal.

(Yes, starting a blog was on the list)