soooo tired

I'm tired. I'm doing the single parent thing again as DH is off on yet another work trip. They seem to be more frequent and for longer periods than previously. While it's frustrating that he does the disappearing act so often it doesn't get annoying until the trip extends beyond 1 week.

I think I've worked it out now:

* overnight trips - no impact. No different to working late, band practice/gig etc

* 2-4 nights - laid back, treat the kids to junk food, make no plans

* 5-9 nights - fall behind in housework. Start to feel tired.

* 10 nights - resentment sets in. How dare he leave me to look after everything? Didn't have kids to be single parent etc. Start to yell at kids.

* 11-13 nights - Body starts to show signs of stress, get sick etc

* 14+ nights - autopilot. Somehow things get done. Not entirely sure of passing of time. Occasional "second winds" only to crash and burn quickly.


Thankfully we have only had a couple of 2+wks trips. Usually I've had plenty of warning of them and can try and conserve energy to get through it. The last couple of trips though have been extended while he has been away. That's hard to deal with.

This trip has been 13 nights. He comes home tomorrow night. Yay! As if on cue I can feel that I'm succombing to some bug. Yesterday and today I have been absolutley dead on my feet, sore throat, all achy etc. Time to OD on vitamins! Time to sleep!!

Positive

How quick moods can change.

Gotta love DH.

I spoke with him this afternoon about my concerns regarding the biz, budget blowout etc.

Talk about a pep talk!

He really lifted me up and affirmed what I was doing which made me feel great.

Negative

Negative bank balance, negative physical space, negative head space.

Get the idea?

Just finished a FFC meeting where we nutted out our budget for CHA ... scary. Budget has pretty much doubled what we initially thought it would be. All those incidentals like electricity, floor coverings etc that you (or at least I) would think would be included in the cost of a booth at a large convention hall add up. I'm not sure how I will explain this to DH as I beg and grovel for more money to finance this whole exploit. I'm feeling the pressure to return to "real work" ie one that has regular income so as to fund this biz. I don't want to do that, but I know our family budget is facing a squeeze as it is. I don't want to bail from FFC either, so I'm not sure what to do ... maybe I can become minority partner instead of equal partner ... I think it's that or I'll have to seriously consider terminating our arrangement all together.

The squeeze is on in terms of floorspace at home too. DH started "cleaning up" which involved taking things out of the wardrobe and piling them in the storeroom. That would not normally be a bad thing except that the storeroom will any day become home to a pallet load of cardstock. We had talked about finding warehouse space but decided against it as it would be yet another "regular outgoing" without having seen ANY incoming, regular or not!

All this is putting me in a pretty black mood. I had been very excited as we had finally decided to make CHA into a family trip, but now I don't know if we can afford it. The alternative would be to fly either one of our parents over to babysit while Dean works. Oh, and of course our lease expires at that time too, and with the market the way it is we expect a HEFTY increase.

Sigh.

Right brain - Left brain

Clockwise or anti clockwise? Creative or logical?
For explanation see this article

Hmmm ... graphic seems to have uploaded with a fault. Hope you can see the effect.

Learning as I go ...

It was 8mths ago that Kristy asked me to join her at Far Flung Craft

I guess she wisely caught me at a weak moment, only hours after the birth of MrM. Perhaps the endorphins were still surging, so that I accepted her business proposal without proper consideration :) However that being said, we took a long time to get things going, and joining her in the biz didn't seem a big deal, particually I think because I didn't have a real sense of the what lay ahead fo us. FFC was Kristy's baby and she has had dreams for its expansion for years, I just felt like I was on for the ride!

That was until money had been invested and deadlines started approaching. I'm paying attention on this ride now - and even offering my own navigation tips. For the longest time I felt very much the backseat passenger, because I had no idea what the vision for the company was, or have any ideas how to take steps to achieve it. I'm edging closer to the front seat now.

I have learnt so much, and learn with each task I do. I had absolutely no business experience, no retail or sales experience, no industry experience. Makes you wonder why she asked me to join her!

I am finding my way around Photoshop, and am becoming frustrated that I don't have the technical skills to do the fine adjustments that I want (however also happy that I'm in this situation as it means I am coming up with clear creative designs - my muse is back!) I am thinking about things like budget, advertising, marketing, customer relations, packaging, shipping, pricing, product development ...all for the first time in my life.
It's overwhelming at times, and I know I'm not going to become a millionaire from this. I don't even know how long this partnership will last (who knows when/where one of us might move on). However long this journey lasts, and however many ups and downs we encounter, I'm glad that I'm along for the ride.


I have no idea where the "ride" analogy came from, but I thought I should stick with it all the way through!

A rolling stone

...gathers no moss.

Things have been BUSY!
September has come and gone (phew, my birthday glossed over. Too much other stuff happening to worry about that!)

On the home front, it took DH MUCH longer than anticipated to get his new passport which caused a few issues for him at work. Once it finally arrived he was out of the country straight away, and after extending his trip he is now on his way home. Yay! I've been going stir crazy as the kids have been home on holidays and have taken great joy in pushing mummy's buttons and trying to kill each other.

The big kids have completed the first term at school and we have had teacher meetings with each. Same old story for MsA: attention, task completion, immaturity. MrT had an excellent meeting. No areas of concern, and in fact exceeding expecations in a number of areas.

Baby M is now 8mths old. He still doesn't have any teeth, much to my surprise. It seems like he has been teething forever. You can see the tooth buds and he chews like crazy, but still not out yet. He is crawling though - and getting into so much mischief. He loves all DH's electrical gear ... cables are so much fun to play with. There will be some major "babyproofing" going on when DH gets home.

On the work front .... BUSY ....learning so much. will post later with details.

What's this?

It's DH's passport - after a trip to .... the washing machine!

Poor man. He has had a rough week. The much awaited work retreat was a total disaster for him, with him being recalled to Singapore after the first night to fix up stuff in the Singapore office. He may as well have been in Vietnam for all we saw of him the next few days.

Anyway, sleep deprivation does funny things to you. Apparently it causes you to find and use obscure pockets in your clothes, and not empty your pockets when you finally get to throw them in the washer.

The cost of this oversight? $350, plus no travel for at least two weeks. Somehow I don't think that will mean we will see more of DH at home though ... he will be practically living at the office 24-7 until this gets sorted out.

Ramping It Up!!

Let's get busy!
Heaps of things happening and doing my best to keep up with it all.

Firstly, kids are back at school, which should theoretically free up some time, but it hasn't. MrM is missing not having the kids around and we are struggling with naps and general routine. Hopefully that won't take long to sort itself it.

I hope so anyway, as I will need time to do normal household stuff as our live in maid will be leaving us in a couple of weeks to get married. I'm sure I'll groan about doing the work, but I am looking forward to doing it "my way".

Kristy and I are working hard on FFC stuff. Two meetings this week, probably the same next week. We have gotten past the "pie in the sky" dreaming and are really getting stuff done as deadlines approach.

I've also decided that if I want to be productive with my crafting I have to maintain a regular habit. It surprised me that while I've been getting lots of ideas for projects I haven't been able to complete them. This has mainly been due to lack of skill. Things I used to know how to do I have forgotten, or techniques that I could master on first attempt just aren't working any more.

Once things are settled into as much of a predictable routine as possible I am going to try and establish a daily (only 15min) crafting time. I used to think that such a small time wasn't worth it, as I would be unlikely to finish a project in that time. Now I realise I need to create a habit - not worry about outcome.

Peeved

What a few weeks it has been. Got back from Oz, and pretty much straight after packed the kids up to defrost on the beach in Phuket. It wasn't quite the relax and recharge long weekend we were hoping for. MrM didn't adjust to the heat and humidity well and was grumpy beyond belief. Add to that an annoying rash which first appeared the morning we left (and has made several reappearances since - Dr seems unconcerned: "insect bite reactions") and a cold thanks to artic a/c in the hotel, and MrM was only ready to enjoy our trip on the day we left.
*He was introduced to both the sand (loved it) and waves (hated it) at the beach, and the kiddy pool (LOVED IT!!!)

Anyway, the big kids are back at school this week. Hoping that means I get back to "normal" routine soon. Hmmm .... not that we had a routine .... but I will soon have to, as our live in helper is leaving us in a couple of weeks. She is off to Italy to help her sister who is due to give birth to her 2nd set of twins. She is going back to The Philippines first and might be getting married ... IF her fiancee can get time off work (from UK).

I surprised myself by having a crafty weekend. Lots of great ideas and enthusiasm to make a last ditch effort to make something that might be included in Kristy's book. Alas, dissapointment quickly set in. I have realised that regular crafting time is necessary to hone techniques. My attempt at image transfer was a dismal failure and brought a quick halt to proceedings. Evidently I don't handle failure well! It didn't work the first time, so I wasn't prepared to persevere. Hmmm, might need to work on that ... not a trait I want to pass onto the kids!

I'm baack!!

Yay! How nice it was to sleep in my own bed last night. 5 1/2 wks is a long time to be away from home. I didn't miss the computer at all. Shock, horror. The kids on the other hand couldn't wait to turn it on this morning.

Nothing major to report on my time in Oz. It is important to me to spend time with my parents ... especially as more health concerns develop with each passing year. Goodbyes are always hard.

Didn't get any crafting done - not that I honestly thought I would. I was happy to make it up to a stamp/scrap store a couple of hours away where I was able to pick up some yummy Tim Holtz and Paper Artsy images. Hope it won't take too long to get them inky.

Things are happening over at Far Flung Craft. Can't wait to catch up with Kristy and find up where we stand. I think a print run is not far off - so maybe a trip to Taiwan. I feel bad that Kristy has been left to do all the FFC stuff herself while she has been busy with her *real* job and deadlines for her book (this woman just does it all!). I'll be trying to pull my weight from now on!!

Take a deep breath, you will survive

... I said to myself as I realised the repercussions of my brash decision not to bring the laptop on our trip to Australia.

The kids have been fighting over the computer lately, and seem unable to come up with ideas of what to do if not on the computer. My fears have been confirmed - my kids are addicted to the computer. I have been scolding DH for allowing the kids so much time on the computer when I have been away, and even allowing them to each use a computer at the same time (rather than share time or take turns on mine).

I had planned on taking the laptop, and was happy to go without interent access. I was going to use the time constructively to develop my Photoshop skills, organise the millions of photos we have filed badly on the harddrive, and play around with my potential business stationery (but more on that later - DH surprises me again!).

Now I've decided to go cold turkey and we will all break ties from the computer. I said I was doing it for the kids sake -to give them the opportunity to rediscover imaginery play and old fashioned games - but I now realise I have as much of a habit to break too.

Wish me luck!

Gracious, giving children

I am in humble awe of my children.
We live in a commercial society, where advertising and peer pressure can create kids (and adults) who want - and get- the latest gadget/accessory/toy/clothes/anything.

As parents, we have tried not to give in to this hype, and have endeavoured to raise our kids knowing that "things" are not the most important things in life. We have been blessed with a relatively high disposable income, and at times it is a struggle to keep purchases in check, however generally speaking we are happy that our kids are not the kind that ask for everything. The tantrum and whining voice in the middle of the toy store is never anything we have had to deal with.

Today my kids willingly went through their bookcase, cupboards, and toybox in search of items that they could donate to a charity clearance sale our neighbours are hosting. Proceeds will go to oxfam.

My kids have pulled together 6 large bags to donate. I initially sat with them and explained what donating would mean, but everything that went in the bags went in by their own hand.

Woo Hoo .... I'm a winner!

I left a comment on the talented Julie Van Oosten's blog and won a selection of her yet to be released new products.
The really funny thing is she is based in Perth, Western Australia and I was there at the time my name was drawn. If I had found out a little earlier I could have personally picked my prize up.

I had a great w'end in Perth, catching up with an old stamping buddy. It was a last minute trip, and I'm so glad I did it.

More Mother's Day goodies

Just stumbled across Lisa Vollrath's website again, and yet another download available
Pretty!

Feeling loved

Last Sunday was Mothers Day, and I was spoilt!

I think DH's recent travels reaffirmed how special "family time" is.
(He was not impressed that he was alone, in another country, for his b'day)

I love that he took the time to come up with creative ways to present gifts to me.
I love how he used "old" family photos as well as brand new ones.
I love that he made me breakfast - including the best ever Hot Chocolate.
Oh, and the new phone aint bad either :)

My quest to scrapbook

I think all my "poo-pooing" scrapbooking in years past has come back to bite me on the @ss. With DH away for work and my laptop acting up I decided to spend my "internet hours" crafting. Not only did I want to make a mother's day card, but my pal Kristy inspired me with the projects/subjects she needed for her upcoming Asian scrapbooking book.

For the first time ever, complete layouts came together in my mind. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about layouts.

First problem: I don't have any 12x12 paper, and I was definately planning that size
Second problem: Rather than use original photos I wanted to print off copies - but could I find them on DH's computer???
Third problem: The LSS was shut on ... National Scrapbooking Day!!! Can you believe it??? (When I went down there again y'day they didn't have what I wanted anyway, so will have to make the trip into the big store later this week)

The never ending birthday

Ms A is 8 today. It's amazing to look at what a sincere, caring, beautiful, and fun loving girl she has become. Love you lots, my one and only gorgeous girl!

MsA hasn't had a proper party for at least 3 yrs, so we thought we would go all out this year. We started early with a surprise trip to Fullerton Hotel on Friday night for the chocolate buffet. Mmm... yum! Highlights: hot chocolate bar with at least 8 different types of choc to choose/mix and match; the bread and butter pudding; some kind of mousse/pudding; and of course the choc fountain.

On Saturday we had her official birthday party at the ice skating rink. There were 17 kids in all (I didn't expect everyone to come since it was a 4 day long weekend), and they all seemed to have fun. I, on the otherhand was in a foul mood as not only did the ice rink fail in every aspect of customer service, I didn't get any b'day cake as DH threw the last piece out as he helped to clean up. :(

I was very proud of MsA. She received heaps of presents. She unwrapped them all, but didn't protest when we told her she could only open one new gift a day. She also sat down with Daddy and printed off photos of each of her guests to send with a personal thankyou note.

Today - the official bday - has been a pretty low key affair. We went into Orchard Rd and had brunch at Swenson's before watching a Maori cultural performance. Daddy was going to take the kids to the movies this afternoon, but being a public holiday, the cinemas were packed so he gave it a pass.

The illusion of security...

Hmmm ... how quickly things change.

Just when I thought DH was happy with the changes at work, he gets a call from China about a job he applied for about the same time things were coming to a head in his office. Suffice it to say he has had phone interview, interview at local office, and is due to fly to China in 2 wks (when he returns from Oz biz trip)for final interview.

I'm trying to be supportive, as I understand it's a great opportunity for him. It's hard to be too excited as not only am I unimpressed with the location of the job, I'm also unimpressed with the amount of travel this position is said to entail: 30-50%.

I don't want to be, in effect, a single mum. I don't care about the huge $$ he may earn. I'd rather have a happy family. We are happy in Singapore now. Would we be happy in China? Time will tell I guess.

A manager who finally gets to manage!

Yay! I'm so happy for my DH.

Things have been really tough for him at work for the longest time. He often talks about leaving his job, but as we want to stay in Singapore and our visas are linked to his employment that is not as easy as it sounds. Anyway, there has been a major shake up at his office, with the boss being sacked due to performance issues (personally and as a business unit). There was uncertainty about who would take over, but finally a new external appointment was made.

In the 10 days he has been on board he has reviewed staffing and has reassigned people. DH, who had been working alone (as they were never able to replace the staff that left last year) has immediate approval to hire 3 staff, and is waiting from approval from head office to hire another 3.

DH has had the title of manager for ages, but never really got to use it. He is pretty impressed that the new boss thinks he can handle a team of 7. He is also impressed that apparently people are now recognising that he has been doing the work of 4 (or more). Hopefully we will see more of him at home now.

The beginning of an empire???

Wow, how fast things change.
I have been offered the opportunity essentially to create my own OT empire.
Who'da thunk it??
I was initially dumbfounded, now I think it's laughable ... it's just so *NOT* me. But I still have to work out how to get out of it ...

I've been hounded by a former teacher from GSS who has set up her own school and wanted me to consult. I went in as they were setting up, as a gesture of good will at 38wks preg to give them some advise, and agreed that we would talk about me joining them part time in August to supervise the therapist they had already recruited.

Sounded simple enough.

Anyway, met with them at their request last week - thought it was just a "meet the baby" thing, only to be given a sob story about being unable to commence OT services and have them beg me to come in for a couple of hours a week straight away to at least do initial screening and support the teachers. Being the softie I am, I said yes, on the proviso that MrM could come too. They agreed.

I ended up registering a new business name the next day, and sent a proposal to the school outlining scope of services and fees. The principal got back to me over the weekend with a proposal of her own. She offered to create a partnership to bankroll my business, provide space and admin support in return for access to therapy services for all their kids. I don't know if she has suggested this as a way of minimising what she would have to pay me - cos although I'm a soft touch and obviously can't say no, I have no problem charging market rate for my services!!