Birth Story

Matthew Ryan arrived at 1.53am on Wednesday 14th, Valentine's Day.

So much for our "golden piggy" CNY baby. MrM surprised us by coming only 3 days late - not the anticipated 10+ days.

Relatively easy natural delivery. Had been having Braxton Hicks contractions fairly regularly all day (and all week!), not sure when real labour started. Ended up going to the hospital about 10pm, thinking this may well be the real thing, but would not have been surprised to have been sent home. Dr came in and examined me - 3cm and fully effaced. Said it looks like the start of active labour, so keep moving, and nurses would check on me again in 4hrs. With that comment I thought that meant I was in for a long night of labouring.

By midnight I had hopped in the tub for pain relief and my resolve for no pain relief was weakening. When the midwife popped in about 12.45 I asked about timeframe for epidural, knowing that sometimes it can take an hour or more for the anesthetist to administer it. Midwife asked me to get out of the tub so she could examine me and see how fast things were progressing. She seemed suprised that I was 6cm, and said she didn't think there would be time, as she started preparing the room or delivery, and I started sucking on the air/gas like there was no tomorrow!

My waters broke on the table about 1.30 and shortly after I felt the urge to push. Check: 8-9cm. I remember looking up at the clock at 1.39 when the midwife said the dr was on the way. I couldn't believe it when she asked me to lay straight (legs down) so as to reduce the urge to push. It felt like she said "cross your legs and wait for the dr". Thankfully dr wasn't far away. As soon as he walked in he said "push with the next contraction if you want to". DH said afterwards that he was taken by surprise at how quickly the whole thing happened. It felt like it only took 3 or 4 pushes and out he came!

He had the roundest head!!!

That was the one feature that I focussed on. My beautiful boy was put straight on my chest, DH was able to cut the cord when it stopped pulsing, and we stayed there for over half an hour. I was given the opportunity to put him on the breast, which he took to straight away. DH took a few photos and everytime the flash went there was a huge startle and a look of major panic in his eyes.

When it was time to go up to the ward I was asked if I a wheelchair was OK. I said it wasn't needed, as I was happy to walk up. Little did I realise that she meant can you manage getting ito a wheelchair, or would you prefer to be transported up on the bed!

At about 3.30am we decided to ring Oz for early (6.30) wake up calls to our families to tell them the news. DH went home shortly after, but I was too excited to sleep. I ended up sending sms to everyone at 5am with birth announcement. I was embarassed that I must have woken a few people up, as I got immediate replies ... people really shouldn't sleep with their phones!

My Valentine

No chocs, romantic dinner, gifts of sexy lingerie, jewellery, or eddy bears for me this year. And am I complaining - NO.

I had the best Valentine's Day ever. The birth of my third child!

More details to follow ...

The time is now ... EDD

Surprise! My EDD is today, but still no sign of baby. Had Dr appointment on Thursday, and while there was good news that baby had stayed in head down position (I was certain he had turned again), he was still high in my tummy, with Dr suggesting at least another 7-10 days wait. I had a busy day on Friday, and I think all the walking helped the baby drop lower, but still not engaged.

Looks like it will be A CNY baby after all.

To think I was concerned that baby would come on the 18th (MrT's b'day), but apparently he has given up all talk of a b'day party because he is excited about the baby arriving on his b'day as HIS b'day present! Now what do I do if baby comes earlier/later??? DH is supposed to be in charge of b'day present this year (as I expect to be preoccupied!!), but he hasn't done anything yet. Hope he gets organised!

On homefront news. Dad had a review at the cardiologist on Friday. Dad seemed pretty blase about the whole thing. Apparently he will have to go to the city for an angiogram and some other testing. Mum happened to mention in passing that she will be seeing a surgeon too about getting her gallbladder removed. It's times like these I hate being half a world away from my family. To top it all off mum is trying to talk me out of flying in for a quick visit with the baby, cos she thinks it's too far and too much for us to handle. I just want to see my parents!!

Quiet on the homefront

No baby news! Tend to be having lots of baby movements early evening, followed by lots of "tightenings". Last night had about 3-4 hrs of regular Braxton Hicks contractions, including back pain (ie back labour - hope the baby isn't posterior like MsA). Only mentioned it once to DH, because although they were painful, the ontractions weren't getting more intense or more frequent. I'm wondering if they were simply painful because of the ECV done earlier, which made my abdomen generally tender.

Oh, on the work front I politely declined the offers at this time, however suggested that if they were willing to wait a few months they could approach me again. I've already had a response saying they are happy to wait cos they really want me on board!

Turn me, baby

Well, I was in for a surprise today at the Drs. This baby has been in breech position forever, but I was so confident that he had turned since my last Drs visit, I hardly paid attention to his explanation of what would have to be done if he hadn't turned when I was to see him again.

I should have. Baby hadn't turned. So Dr proceeded to perform ECV (External Cephalic Version). With him grunting, his knuckles cracking, and me wincing as he had his thumbs jammed into my tummy, he concluded by saying that the baby had turned and that would have been classed an "easy version". I would have hate to have seen a "difficult" one.

I was sent upstairs to the labour ward to be put on monitoring for 20mins. Dr popped in during that time as he had a lady labouring, and asked me to stay longer as the baby wasn't as active as he should be. Got given the all clear after 30 mins, but told to watch out for signs of labour or less movements from baby.

An anxious night ahead, me thinks. I don't know if it related to the procedure, but I now have a splitting headache (headaches and high BP were an issue late in preg with MsA), and a generally sore tummy and pubic area. Hope baby has his usual active period this evening, cos he is still very quiet. Thought he would have protested being moved from his evidently comfortable breech position!

In Demand!!

I'm flattered, dumbfounded, overwhelmed, surprised, honoured ....

Get the picture??

For the first time in my life I am a "wanted woman"!

I have had job offers coming at me left and right. It's amazing having people ring you out of the blue, stroke your ego, and sweet talk you all in an attempt to get you to work for them.

I do take pride in my work, and I do think I am competent at what I do. I don't think I warrant the accolades that some potential employers are heaping on me though.

I'd also like to take this information and rub it in the face of a couple of people at a former workplace who made comments that I had no bargaining power when it came to jobseeking and they could pay me under market rate because no one else would employ me (TIP: watch who you cc emails to, especially if you are replying to a message!)

I just wish timimg could have been better.

I really don't know if/when/how much I will work after the baby comes (next week?!).

All my potential "suitors" know my situation and are bending over backwards to say how flexible they will be and are happy to wait for me to start when I'm ready - provided I can give a commitment to them now that I WILL come on board.

What to do???

DH is telling me that if I am in demand now, I should still be in demand in 3-6mths when I will be more settled and can make more realistic decisions about what a want workwise.

I hope he is right.

Gong Xi! Gong Xi!

Last night we all went to a wedding of a colleague of mine from work.

It was the first Chinese wedding I had been to. The evening started off poorly - DH was late leaving work, so he got his taxi to pick us up and go onto the venue, and had no chance to change or freshen up. Apparently the taxi driver was in a foul mood and resented having the extra pickup (you think he would be happier about having a larger fare!). The taxi gave us the runaround and took us to the wrong destination. I was so angry. The invitation specified meal to be served at 7.30 and requested everyone be punctual. I guess I shouldn't have worried. Proceedings didn't start until 8.30.

As usual the kids were centre of attention. Mr T was a bit tired and grumpy as he had a cold, but quickly perked up when familiar faces from school came and said hello to him. He apparently stole the show with the bride's father during the "table toasts" (I was outside talking to a friend).

Ms A showed she is definitely soaking up info at school. She was aghast when sharks fin soup was served and was a real little conservationist, refusing to eat it. She did her best to read the chinese menu and was saying "xie xie" at every opportunity.

I don't know what all the fuss is about. I've heard so many things about the different practises at Chinese weddings, but there really was little that was that unusual. Yes, there is lots of food. Yes, there are costume changes for the bride. There are also tables full of people having a good time, bestowing blessings on the happy couple. The strangest thing about a Chinese wedding dinner is that here in Singapore at least it happens well after the "official" wedding/licensure (?) at ROM.

I guess you have to save up to party!!!

hmmm .... nesting or moaning???

Well, I guess I'm entitled to be a pain to live with at the moment. I am 38 wks pregnant afterall.
After having a pretty emotionally stable pregnancy (from my perspective anyway - and DH has been nice enough not to dispute it) I ended up in tears this morning all because I couldn't get a document to print properly and then I couldn't trim a photo properly. I stormed off to the shower and left DH to sort it out. Felt much better after the shower, but couldn't help but notice that DH had cut out the wrong photos. See, you don't have to be pregnant to make mistakes!

My bud Kristy (from Far Flung Craft) would be surprised/relieved/gloating if she saw me now. I am seriously looking through old photo albums (the "toxic" magnetic page ones) with the view of redoing them in more archivally safe "scrapbook" style albums. I cringe even as I write "scrapbook" cos I said I would never do scrapbooking. I'm trying to make it sound more like journalling or creating artist albums - but given that I am going to have to buy some definate scrapbooking products I know Kristy won't let me get away with it!

The reason for my new found interest in looking through photo albums that have happily sat in a box for the 4yrs we have been in Singapore, plus probably many more years before that is purely nesting. These boxes have just been sitting against the wall in our bedroom for years, and now need to be moved to accommodate baby stuff.

So today I plan to head off to Spotlight to buy some elastic to use to adapt sheets into fitted cot sheets (our cot is way smaller than the cot sheets we already have). I will also walk down the dreaded scrapbooking aisle to buy some acid neutralising/archival spray for some newspaper clippings, photo corners, and maybe a "proper" album with page protectors. I will NOT venture into the scrapbooking store in the same shopping centre. I do have an image to maintain :)

Shhh! Don't tell anyone!

What the ?????

I can't believe it!!! Just saw an ad on TV that a Dark Side of the Moon concert with Roger Waters is touring Asia. held my breathe for dates in Singapore - none forthcoming.

Thought that's OK, I'll splurge and go to HK to watch it ... hang on .... its in 4wks .... can't be, I'm having a baby in 3wks.

I had always joked that if ever Pink Floyd reformed I would be at the concert no matter what - even if I was due to give birth. Never did I think that situation would actually arise!!! Somehow I don't that my OB/GYN would agree to schedule an elective c-section early just so I could go see a concert ....

Sick and tired...

Thankfully not both at once.

I am tired. DH is sick. Of course a man who is sick is likely to make me frustrated - why can't "sick" men either:

1. suck it up and get on with it
2. go to the doctor and actually FOLLOW instructions (ie take medication when indicated, and FINISH IT)

I am 37wks pregnant and can't sleep due to the growing discomfort. DH does not need to give me practice in childcare in advance! He could always be proactive and look after his health!

(Should I mention that this is probably his 3rd or 4th visit to the doctor since Xmas??? Do you think maybe a review of lifestyle and stress is in order?)

Mentoring

I just spent a fun morning at home with a lady I have met only once before.

She was to have been my maternity leave locum, but decided that not only did she not have the skills to do the job, she was not happy with the arrangement/offer made by her/my employer. I must say that I was impressed by her decision, as I know I have felt at various times that I have been taken advantage of by my employer and my value not really considered. She has been strongly encouraging me not to be limited by my current situation, to think outside the box and show my "power" by demanding improved employment conditions with either the same or different employers. She has also made the idea of setting a private practice up seem much less daunting.

Lots to think about.

Anyway, I just spent the morning with her in what I would call a mentoring session. She doesn't have much experience with paeds, and was particularly concerned about her assessment skills. We spent some time going through the non-standardised observational assessment battery she has developed. It looks like she has the assessment part under control, but lacks confidence in the interpretation and treatment planning side of things. We talked about lots of therapy ideas that she could use in both clinic settings and in setting up home programmes.

It was useful for me too.

I should probably look at setting up a similar kind of arrangement for my professional development. Despite what she and many of the teachers at GSS think I don't have all the answers, and am NOT an expert in current treatment protocols or research. I just had a great weekend learning about SAMONAS, an auditory intervention programme, but I feel no where near ready to confidently prescribe this protocol. I would love to have supervision in using it for a while, and someone to challenge my clinical reasoning and encourage me to look at outcome measures more than I do.

Awaiting the transformation

When he sets his mind on it ....

I have an Apple notebook.

Hmmm, it's funny how DH can sometimes see things through without any reminders, and other times it is like pulling teeth! DH was obviously very motivated to look for a computer solution, as less than 24hrs after raising the topic he came home with a laptop. I'm not entirely sure what the situation is - if it's a trial or anything.

I'm continuing to use my PC though, as surprise, surprise, the Mac can't quite remember how to connect to our home network, despite DH setting it up last night.

Meanwhile, I'm still waiting on DH to follow up on some more "trivial" matters he agreed to attend to last year: the money man, the A/C man, speaking to the landlord re possible water in the ceiling etc ....

Technologically challenged

Well, I can't work it out. I borrowed a book from the library, specifically focussing on publishing a blogger blog, as I was finding going back and forth with the online help frustrating, and I still can't get my blog to do what I want. I think the main problem is lack of a good graphics/photo editing program. I am reluctant to download any of the freebie/trial ones from the web as last time I did that (when I started the blog aeons ago) driver incompatibilities or something kept on causing my laptop to crash.

There is a chance that I will be farewelling my loyal laptop soon. It is old (in terms of computer lifespans), slow, heavy ... and never available to me as the kids have become tec heads.

Even MrT at not quite 5yrs is capable of using the internet. He very proudly showed me how he could type the web address that was listed on the packaging from one of his Christmas toys into the browser. He can't read yet, but he definately knows "open", "exit", "next", "play". Amazing!!

Anyway, DH has been hinting heavily that he would like to make the switch to Mac platform. He tries to justify it by saying it would help the kids who are using Macs at school. He tries to appease me by telling me how Windows works on it, so I don't have to learn a new OS, that much of the kids PC software is somehow compatible too, and that we can have a mixed network at home with both PC and Mac with no problem.

I'm not sure I believe the "no problem" scenario. But the big plus is that he is trying to line up a "no cost" to us solution. Can't fault that! With baby expenses, me not working, upcoming travel, and some uncertainty with DH's work that is an important factor.

Feeling appreciated

Yesterday I popped into work to see how things were going with the locum (there were initial concerns!). I was taken back by how warmly I was greeted by everyone. I don't thinkI have ever felt so much that I was part of a "team" as I do at GSS - even though I work part time, and am not employed by GSS. GSS do not see me as a contractor to them, I am one of them, and it is great!

It was quite funny that as soon as the teachers had said hello I was bombarded with questions/updates etc regarding the kids in their classes. I spoke to the principal afterwards and she said the teachers must really miss the support that I was able to give when I was there. The principal has been quite innovative and solved the locum problem by employing a husband/wife team to provide joint therapy. There were concerns that individually neither of them had sufficient skills/confidence etc, but working together it looks like they will make a powerful team. They spent a lot of time over the holidays reorganising the therapy room, and it looks great! I wish them well.

Back to school - the end of an era

Today was the last day of the school holidays. Both kids are back to school tomorrow. Neither of them are overly excited, although they are looking forward to seeing friends again. They quickly got into the habit of doing nothing, so while they complained about being bored from time to time (often!) they evidently became very comfortable with the lack of structure and demands placed on them. Hope that doesn't cause any problems when they go back.

We were going to go out and have a celebratory treat this afternoon to mark the end of the hols, but the kids got tied up with playdates. We might do something tomorrow to mark the first day back at school instead.

I was actually feeling a little frustrated that we didn't go out. Yet another thing on my "to do during the holidays" list that didn't happen. If I think about it in reference to my last post though, I realise that the actions don't matter so much ... we had fun together, which was more important.

Sudden realisation: this was my last holidays having just the two kids at home. Next time around there will be another. I really need to find as much 1 on 1 time with the kids as I can!!

My Intentions ...

I'm not foolish enough to say "my resolutions", but here is what I hope/plan the future will be:

• opening my eyes to see the beauty around me. Even in the mundane elements of life.
• setting time aside each week for "me time", where I indulge in my own selfish pleasures, be it a bubble bath, a secret icecream, reading a trashy novel in bed, or journalling.
• setting aside time each week to connect with my DH one on one - and not just to deal with "business" eg family/family/work issues.
• appreciating my kids for who they are, and indulging THEIR individual pleasures.

That's it. Of course I'd like to add things like exercise more, do more (any!) stamping, etc but I really want to focus on attitudes not just actions.

What a difference a year makes!

A new year, a new energy.

After an absence of 1 whole year from blogging, lots of work, lots of personal frustrations and NO time spent on creative ventures, it's time to try again.

I need to relearn (well, learn for the first time) the intricacies of blogging.

Perhaps I will look at making my previous entries private in the future, as I aired some negative stuff - which may have been exactly what I needed, but was probably not fair for the others mentioned. Then again, I may leave it, 'cos we all have ups and downs!

Christmas in the air

Wow all our shopping is done. DH and MrT met MsA and I after gym on wednesday and had a mad shop. We split up and shopped. I was overwhelmed by the crowds ... couldn't wait to get home .... couldn't find anything. DH and MrT completed their shopping no worries. MsA and I finished today after her Chrissy party at school. Much less painful getting it down earlier in the day.

I really don't feel Christmassy. The house is looking nice, decorated and pressies under the tree. The kids are in the mood. I'm not. DH is away for work again. We still haven't resolved anything re my last post. Seems to have been forgotten and are now pretending to be "happy families".

Ho, ho ho. Where's my Christmas cheer??

Where do I stand now?????

After trying unsuccessfully for weeks to initiate a conversation on our future re kids/work/singapore I finally got my thoughts out in the open tonight.

We still haven't resolved anything. After pussyfooting around talking about whether there was any likelihood for schooling allowance for MrT in the future or if that was what my salary was to be earmarked for, I dropped the bombshell and laid it all on the line.

I told DH I wanted a baby and I wanted it now. This is not new information.

Apparently DH doesn't.

I told DH I was not happy working (surprise, surprise) but would continue to do so for the next year to save more money if we could start trying for a baby.

I got the silent treatment.

I don't know what to do....

concert time

What a day!

First, MsA had her first Grade 1 assembly performance, which was made into a big deal - but given her gala performances last year - was not so big. Half of the grade 1 classes were on stage together, dressed as flowers of different colours, reflecting the multicultural aspect of the school. They sang 3 songs and recited 2 poems, all with a "nature" theme to go along with their current POI unit.

Then, MrT made his stage debut, with an end of year concert for his preschool.
Now that was a big deal!

I had no idea his school was so big - and that he was definately the only caucasian kid. There were 8 K2 classes graduating (160+ kids) in addition to all the younger kids. Every class appeared on stage for an item in elaborate costume, and full makeup. The Christian aspect of the school was definately pushed - nearly every act was a bible chorus. MrT's was in Chinese .... something to do about lost sheep looking for the Shepherd.

Unfortunately MsA couldn't come to MrT's performance (limited seating - as it was we were relegated to watch via TV screen in the waiting room, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing as we got to see MrT before and after he went on stage). MrT walked home in costume and wanted to wake MsA up (it was 10pm). Will have to make do with a re-enactment by both kids tomorrow.

Lots of photos of both events. Even DVD of MrT's concert made by the school (fundraising). Fun!!